2 posts tagged “benny”
Wyldemille Weekly - The Paper That Get's Dogshit Off Your Shoes
Todays Top Stories:
1. Travel: As residents of the Mille will no doubt have noticed, travelling from the Mille into civilisation is becoming increasingly difficult since the murder of 7 bus drivers during 2007. A young Millite though has approached this paper with a new initiative to improve services. A Mr Dwayne (Dangerous) Kyle, has conceived quite an ingenious scheme where he has offered his services to pick up and drop off residents anywhere within South Wales at no cost to himself. 'No Cost' I hear you say. That is correct, Mr Kyle will use his hotwiring skills he learnt at the age of 18months to liberate the vehicles of shoppers at Tesco and use them as one way taxis to a Wyldemille residents choice of destination. He will then make the return journey in a different vehicle, thus giving residents the pleasure of a ride in two separate cars.
2. Sport: It has been a fantastic week for many of the Mille's Sports Team with wins both home and away in every competition. Wydlemille's Warriors annihilated The Pensioners and Retired Ladies Club when both teams met in the Stone Throwers Cup Final. It all came down to the final rock, but a Miss Beyonce Evans shrugged off any pressure and delivered a devastating throw, smashing the Post Office's new glass door window and knocking out the manger at the same time. There was also wins for Firestarting, Bare Knuckle Boxing and Air Rifle Shooting. Well done all.
3. Finally a look at the markets: Skunk down 20p a ton. Heroin remains steady at £5 a kilo, Crack and Cocaine rose by 1p an Ounce.
Just landed on
Planet Vox. So just acquainting myself with the deal here. Fret not though, an updated profile will shortly arrive which will make all of you ask the question 'Is this guy crazy or are the people of Wales the funniest yet most insane humans on Earth'!
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