Wyldemille Weekly..... The paper even...

Wyldemille Weekly..... The paper even the wind won't blow.

This week's top stories.

Youth Culture

Mille youths are having a hard time of it lately.  The bulldozing of the petrol station and bus shelters has meant that many of them have had to piss in the toilets of their own home.  The boarding up of many of the tower flats prompted angry reaction from popular female Milleite Miss Stacey Slaps.  Stacey approached this reporter to voice her concerns.  “I fink it is gonna be much more harder for me to carry on with my ‘Friendly to Visitors’ program now.  Wiv it getting colder and that I is finding it much harder to find a suitable place to welcome new blokes like innit”.  Miss Slaps also complained that all records of her previous efforts of welcoming visitors to the Mille that had been recorded in luminous yellow paint in the subways and on the petrol station had all but disappeared.  Wyldemille Weekly can confirm that if it was not for the carvings on the Oak trees in the Adventure visitors would be clueless as to the various talents of Stacey.  The owner of Londis has also stated that sales of spray paint cans have rapidly decreased which can only mean bad news for the Milles upcoming contemporary young artists.

Annual Fair

Earlier this week the Mille enjoyed its annual fete where residents young and old came to set up stalls, play games and exchange opinions on present day Mille life.  Most stalls recorded high profits on boxed DVD players, Sony Play Stations and car stereos but one stall in particular a Medical Stall, erected by Mr Dwayne ‘Dangerous’ Kyle, reported the highest takings of the day with over £10,000 in used notes exchanging hands in the first twenty minutes of business.  The only disappointment of the day was the constant interruptions of Constable PC Evans which led to the occasional abandonment of proceedings.  However, WW and all residents of the Mille would like to thank the Montell children, Britney aged 5, Ne-Yo aged 6, twins Shakira and Whitney aged 8 and eldest sister Latifa (the black one) for their efforts in distracting PC Evans by means of setting light to his car.

Finally, a look at the markets.  All goods are in short supply after the stunning sales recorded at the fete, however, imports are due to arrive on schedule at the usual time and place.