Wyldemille Weekly...

Wyldemille Weekly.........The Paper That Never Comes Out On Time.

This week's top story.

Special Report..........Conversing with Milleites (Is language a barrier)?

Earlier this week this reporter headed deep into the heartland of the Mille to undertake some field research.  I was acting on the growing number of concerned letters that WW has been receiving regarding the increased difficulty some residents are experiencing whilst attempting to converse with a Milleite.  To gain some first hand knowledge of the problem this reporter decided to visit the best place to observe and partake in dialogue with a Milleite, the estate's hairdressers.

I escaped detection by taking on the role of a new resident who wished to have a hair-cut.  After a quick wash in the basin I was then dressed in a large black overall and sat in pink leather chair.  Happily, after only a short wait, an employee greeted me and then enquired after which particular hair style I would like to sport.  After issuing the young lady with my request I was seated in a comfortable rotating chair as she gathered her equipment.

At this point I was pleased with the service and failed to see why so many residents felt they needed to contact me with their concerns at all.  However, less than a minute later, I became aware of the problem.  The following is a truthful narrative of my conversation in the hairdressers.

Characters:  Benny Ball (C.U.N.T), Sherise and Taylor (Owner).

Sherise: What you been doing today en?
Me: Walking my dog.
Sherise: Aww, I like dogs. Do you like dogs Tayl? You like dogs then do you?
Me: Yeah.
Taylor: What you say?
Sherise: I said do you like dogs?
Taylor: Yeah, I like dogs. Do you like dogs?
Me: Yeah, I like dogs.
Sherise: I like dogs too.  How many dogs you got en?
Me: One.
Sherise: Ah, I got one dog too!  Tayl, you got one dog as well aven't you?
Taylor: Yeah. I got one dog.  You like dogs en do you?
Me: Yeah.
Sherise: I like dogs but my boyfriend dunt.  He's got one though. You always had one dog en?
Me: Yeah, apart from when I had two dogs like.
Sherise: Aw there's lush. You only got one dog now though is it?
Me: Yeah I only got one dog now.
Taylor: Is it different having two dogs than one dog? I want another dog.
Sherise: Do you? You like dogs then do you Tayl?
Me: This gonna take much longer?
Taylor: Yeah, I've always liked dogs. They get old though don't they?
Sherise: Yeah, my dogs got old. How old is your dog?
Me: 46.

I am now walking around with half a haircut.  It is a small price to pay.

Finally, a look at the markets.....Skunk - £3 a kilo or £5 a ton. Meth - see Daryl Nutz for latest offers.